- School: no shoulder-revealing shirts
- Student: why?
- School: you might ferociously anal fist each other in the hallway
my little sister sleeps with a box of cheez-its next to her pillow and i always thought it was because she’s lazy and likes to have it for convenient snacking but last night she told me it’s because she likes seeing it first thing when she wakes up to remind her there’s good in the world
how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.
like isn’t just like having sex idgi?
This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.
- person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
- me: nope
- person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
- me: i'm not
sorry! your password must contain at least seventeen roman numerals and the entire script of shrek the third
jesus, take the wheel. now put it in first - no, put the clutch in and - jesus, what the fuck, you said you could drive stick
"your password is weak"
You’re the weak one
And you’ll never know love, or friendship
And I feel sorry for you